Funny Quotes About Being a Parent That You Can Probably Relate To

(guest post)

If the kids are getting you a little frazzled today, it might be time to take five minutes to relax, take some deep breaths and have a good, old fashioned belly laugh. Being a parent is one of the most stressful jobs in the world, but it can be funny too. Check out these funny humorous quotes about raising kids.

“It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.” – Ben Bergor

Ben Bergor brings up one of those truths that are so hard to comprehend: Why do children show such ineptitude when it comes to chores, but teenagers are so keen, eager and able when it comes to driving the family car?

“Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.” – Anonymous

On a Saturday morning, every parent wants nothing more than the child they taught to walk and talk to pipe down and leave them to sleep in!

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller raised a brood of five children while working as a full-time comedian on television. She managed to raise them all very well and was also able to use her home life as the basis for her comedy. Isn’t that a great double whammy—stressing out and then getting paid to laugh about it!

“Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson

Ask any parent of a teenager and they will tell you that Sam Levenson’s insanity quip is right on the money. There’s nothing quite as maddening as talking to an adolescent, and most of the time you end up getting swept up in the madness!

“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.” E.W Howe

Speaking of insanity, E.W Howe has a few choice words for the education system—keep it up! Without sending the kids off to school each day, there would be frazzled, angry and stressed parents everywhere trying to get a reprieve from their madness at home.

“Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.” – John F. Kennedy

It’s almost a given that when children talk about their career aspirations, moms and dads would love to hear President on the top of the list. But do they have to be politicians first? Hopefully this list of funny parenting quotes has made you feel better today, particularly if you’re feeling like you want to bury your head under a pillow until they’re forced to dress themselves, make their own sack lunches, and get to school themselves!

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