Social Anxiety is Real, People

I have realized that my social anxiety disorder prevents me from keeping a job. And I hate that. I really do. But I feel totally powerless to do anything about it. To make things worse, unless you have an anxiety disorder, you don’t understand. My husband tries to be understanding, but I know it’s difficult. I’ve worked at home doing childcare for the past 3 years because I didn’t want to work outside the home. Everytime I get a job elsewhere, I tend to have panic attacks or just start crying. I have no clue why. I take a medication for depression/anxiety. It helps to a point.
I took a new job Monday. I’ve already quit and it’s only Wednesday. It’s not because I’m lazy. It was a factory job I’d done about 15 years ago. While I remembered the basics, they have changed up a lot of things. There was more pressure put on me because I had some experience doing the job. I always hate being a trainee because most of the time, the trainers don’t really have the patience they should. I can sense when someone is getting aggravated with me and that increases my anxiety. I was in tears nearly all of yesterday. Of course, I excused myself to the restroom because I didn’t want to cause a scene. But it became more and more difficult to sit there and not get upset. So, I just emailed the HR person who hired me and let them know the job wasn’t a good fit for me. I know I should have called him, but once again, my anxiety gets in the way of that. I’ve held jobs before but my anxiety wasn’t that bad then.
From the outside looking in, I’m sure it just seems as if I’m lazy and don’t want to work. That’s not true at all. I’ve done inhome childcare for 3 years. Sure, it was stressful, but I didn’t go to bed absolutely dreading working the next day. I only thought it stressed me out until I took this other job. Now that I have some perspective, I wish I could do childcare again. I get to stay home but also bring in a little money.
I’m not a total agoraphobe. I do go out, but usually only with someone else. I mean,I’ll go walking by myself, but when it comes to going to crowded places alone, I won’t do it. I’m not writing this for pity, I just want anyone else out there who goes through the same thing to know they are not alone. I know how it feels to think that no one understands you. I’m at that place right now. No matter how many words I write, I feel like I can’t adequately explain how I feel.
Even though I quit the job, I’ve still been crying because I feel so guilty for quitting. The anxiety is gone but I know I’ve disappointed people and that makes me feel, for lack of a better term, like crap.

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I need a job.

I need a job, like yesterday. This childcare job is playing out. I am only working about 2 days on average. Sure, it’s great for the parents. The mom took a higher paying job and she’s not having to send her daughter to daycare any more than 2 days a week. If I hadn’t been keeping the little girl since she was 7 months old, I’d probably just tell the mom that I couldn’t keep her daughter any more. But I guess until I do find another job, I’ll continue to provide childcare for the mom.

I have applied at so many different places. I have an associates degree but that doesn’t seem to be very helpful right now. I have to admit though that after being an inhome childcare provider for the past 3 years, I am a bit hesitant getting a job away from home. I like working at home and being my own boss. But at the same time, I also like to be able to pay my bills. I have several credit cards that are behind and I’d love to get them all paid off. I got the credit cards before my income dropped so much so I always intended on paying them. If there hadn’t been drama with 2 of the other moms (who are sisters) then I’d still be making enough to pay my credit cards.

However, I’d be equally happy to find a job that I can work from home. I think I’d be good at any sort of data entry/computer job, well except for transcription. That was a class I did really well in while I was in college. But the thing is, the files you transcribe in class are fairly clear and so it doesn’t take that long to type it out. The files I’ve been asked to transcribe for various companies usually have poor audio quality. Actually, one company gave me a file to transcribe as a test. It was really clear and not hard to understand at all. I passed the test but the first file they assigned me to transcribe was barely audible. They wanted a 24 hour turnaround and there was no way I was going to be able to do that with that low quality file. So yeah, anything but transcription LOL.

If anyone knows of any jobs hiring online, I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know in the comments!

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What Can I Do Now That I’ve Retired?

Guest post by David

Many people can’t figure out what they want to do when they retire, or if they want to retire at all, but actually retirement is a new lease of life. All those things you’ve never found the time to do, like travelling the world, making repairs to the house, taking up a hobby or even starting a second career, can all be made possible through retirement. You’ve already done the hard part, getting up early every morning, working your way through a valued and rewarding career and taking care of your family financially. So when the time does come to hang up your boots, don’t shy away from it – embrace it! Let’s take a look at some of the best things you can do when you retire.

Get a Job

No, we’re not crazy, and we are actually suggesting you get a job after you retire. Getting a job will help you to ease yourself into retirement, as many people find it hard to simply stop working after a lifetime of employment. It doesn’t have to be a demanding job, or even a well-paid one, but it will have to keep you engaged until you find something to focus your attention on. For example, if you like to garden, then why not work Saturdays at your local gardening centre, or if you enjoy fashion you could put in a few hours a week at your nearest charity shop, sorting out the good stuff from the bad.

Instead of working for money, you could also volunteer, and this vocation attractions millions of retired people every year. Not only is it rewarding, but you also get to mentor the younger generation of the industry you worked in. Furthermore, if you’re looking enter into a second career when you retire, volunteering could help you better understand the role you wish to perform in.

Sport

Sadly, not a lot of working people get time to play sport, from long office hours to stressful family life. However once you’re retired, you’ll have all the time in the world to play any sport you’ve missed out on, or even pick up a few new ones! As you get older, you’ll have to place more focus on looking after your body, and sport is a great way to keep your muscles active and your heart healthy. Sport also promotes social interaction, and although sitting in doors all day and catching up on missed programs seems appealing, interacting with others is essential to enjoying your retirement. Speaking of interaction, retiring with Extra care is a great way to keep active in your later years, so be sure to check them out before you hit that golf course!

Travel

We all know how expensive going on holiday can be, however once you retire and you get that huge financial package you’ve been waiting for, the world is literally your oyster! You don’t have to settle for one destination either – you can travel the world city after city, from one side of the globe to the other. Furthermore, travelling with a partner always makes your trip more enjoyable, so bring a loved one along! 

David enjoys writing about retirement and discussing potential avenues to explore once retired.

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