You are beautiful

I haven’t had a good rant in awhile, so I think it’s time for one. I have a friend who is taller and thinner than I am. I’m 4’11” and have about 30-40 lbs I need to get rid of. If you’re a fellow shorty, you know how an extra 30-40 lbs looks on us. My friend is around 5’7″ and probably weighs what I do, however, because she’s taller, she’s thinner. I was venting to her on facebook how the “plus-size” models aren’t so “plussed sized” and how I’d like to see someone like me out there too. A few minutes later, she proceeds to tell me how she buttoned up her pants without having a muffin top and how proud she was of herself. That just irritated me and hurt my feelings at the same time. She knew I was having a low self esteem moment and she chose to brag on herself. And no, I don’t talk about my self esteem issues to her every day. So she could have at least kept that to herself for another day or so.
And back to the plus size model issue. Most of them are not what I would consider “fat”. They are 5’7″ and taller. They are a size 12-14. For that height, I don’t consider that to be obese at all. I think that since the supermodel world has convinced everyone that a 5’7″ size 0 is perfection, that’s what people believe. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are a lot of naturally skinny girls out there. The ones who, no matter how much they eat, can’t gain weight (ugh..I am soo jealous of you lol). Then there are girls like me, who just look at a cheesecake and gain 10 lbs. I have seen people much smaller than me, eat twice as much as I do. So for one, people need to stop assuming that just because someone is overweight it means that they eat more than other people. Most of the time, that’s not true. And people, including myself, should stop assuming all the thin girls out there don’t eat.
This world would be a much better place if people would learn that beauty has very little to do with a number on the scale. It has every thing to do with how one carries themselves and if they have respect for other people. I know some people are probably rolling their eyes. When I was younger, I would have done the same thing. But the older I get, the more I see that it’s true. Inner beauty is so much more important than outer beauty. And as women, we need to stop tearing each other down. How can we expect men to respect us when we don’t even respect each other? And to all of my bigger girls(especially the younger women) out there, who feel like men look down on them because they don’t have the “perfect body”, maybe you need to reevaluate the kind of men you seek out. If a man can’t see past your weight, they aren’t worth the time of day. And I will say, as you get older, men will care less about your weight and more about the kind of person you are.

beautiful

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41 Comments

  1. I agree with you 100%. I’m 5’4 and although I am what people might consider small, I’m only this way because I have to work SO hard at it (it’s not easy). You’re right, not everyone is over weight because they eat all the time. I know that because it’s a struggle for me to maintain my weight. This world is so skewed with its view of what is considered beautiful. Thank you for this.
    Johnnalynn Lynch recently posted…Dress Up Your Celebrity T-Shirts with a Blazer and Stilettos!My Profile

  2. “This world would be a much better place if people would learn that beauty has very little to do with a number on the scale.”

    I cannot like this statement enough! I often find myself nitpicking at my perceived flaws, and my husband has to remind me that I am in no way overweight, that I am perfect just as I am. While that’s hard for me to believe, I feel like I really need to work on my body image for my daughter. She’s perfect and beautiful, and I don’t want her to ever think differently. I know that she will look to me to form her ideas about herself, so I need to start modeling what I want her to do. So, so hard!

  3. Darling all I can say is Amen! I am 5’0″, have been overweight most of my life. My Grandma always said “Pretty is as pretty does”. What your friend did was not pretty, it was insensitive. My husband and I were out to dinner with 2 other couples. I brought my own coffee creamer from home, No sugar added, vanilla. When I put it in my coffee, they all began to lecture me about the calories. I had to show them the container. I also made a mental note not to go out with them again. They are ALL overweight themselves. We know we are overweight, we don’t need to be reminded. That being said, there are times in life when we all can be insensitive, we are not perfect. We also need to be forgiving. Chalk it up to their ignorance, we can forgive them for being ignorant, can’t we.
    Shirley Wood recently posted…Repurpose Milk Jugs & 2 Liter Bottles for Winter Seed SowingMy Profile

  4. I so agree, and I’m on a quest this year to lose weight, but not just to be thinner – to be healthier so I can enjoy life and those I love more without the hindrance of fatigue, etc. And, I agree, that beauty isn’t defined by size or scale. I can easily look at friends that are “overweight” and see them as wholly gorgeous! Somehow though I can’t see past my own excess weight in the mirror… Congrats to you, you are one gorgeous momma and a daughter of Christ!

    Sarah’s Fare recently posted ? Eggs in a Nest

  5. Lets also not forget that, plus size models or not, models are always airbrushed—on top of being photographed in flattering angles. I really hope one day we live in a world where celebrities and the fashion world are just NOT a big deal. They don’t represent anything real, and it makes me sad that so many people compare themselves to the people they see in the movies or in magazines and feel bad about themselves.

    I WAS that girl when I was a teenager. It took some personal circumstances to make me realize one day that I can’t get approval from everyone, and I might as well stop trying and just make myself happy. It was at that time I realized so much about the world of advertising, Hollywood, and so much else. I don’t read tabloids anymore, and I roll my eyes at tacky ads and magazine headlines that, if we’re being honest, are trying to make you feel awful. They’re trying to make you feel awful, and tell you that you’ll feel better if you buy their product. All I have to say to that is: good riddance! Thanks for talking about a big issue in the world today. I hope every man and woman finds their own self-worth, and can live happy lives where they feel GREAT about themselves!
    Lalia @ Found Frolicking recently posted…American Girl Doll & Book GiveawayMy Profile

  6. Sometimes we just have to vent πŸ™‚

    And just like the quote says “We are ALL beautiful!”
    We are designed and made just the way we should be. I just wish the media would spot throwing unrealistic things down our throats. I hope you feel better!
    -Stacey
    GluedToMyCraftsBlog.com

  7. Thank you for this. I completely agree that women need to learn to support each other rather than tear each other apart. I don’t have a scale in my house because I don’t want how I feel about myself- and my daughter in years to come- to be determined or influenced by a number. I have witnessed the destructive quality that weight concerns have on one of my closest friends and it is heartbreaking. No one has the right to pass judgement on another simply by how they look. That being said, what we need to remember is the models used for women’s clothing are often teenagers- some as young as 13!- of course grown women with female figures are going to differ than the models we see; it’s completely unrealistic! I’ll take my stretch marks from my baby girl over my 13- year- old body any day- my body tells the story of my life and I hope all women can find ways of loving their bodies.
    Katterine Petrunia recently posted…Amazing Mom: Lisa, Ned and MacsMy Profile

  8. I REALLY needed to see this today! I have been having lots of self esteem issues as of late, and I have been trying REALLY hard to lose the extra weight from my 2 pregnancies. I finally realized today, that I needed to re-evaluate the type of man I am around (got called a lazy fat a** today). There is no way to get my self esteem up when I’m around that, and I’m starting to think that weight loss is also tied into our self esteem. *hugs*
    Christy Denton recently posted…American Girl Doll GiveawayMy Profile

  9. It is really important to love yourself. I have had to develop really tough skin. I am 5’9″ and considered tall for a woman. People assume I played basketball and people make remarks that often made me feel like I am the tallest woman in the world. I didn’t start loving my height until I was in my late twenties.

  10. I think Betty White is the definition of true inner beauty and aging gracefully! I also think that people who see skinny girls don’t realize that they either find themselves not skinny enough or they desperately want to have curves like their best friend. I know that I’ve found myself in both those fights through out the years. We all need to learn how to love ourselves and the body that we were given. We only get one body and one chance to live this life, make it a good one and let go of the insecurities. πŸ™‚
    Jessi Fearon (@TheBudgetMama) recently posted…How to Stretch Your Clothing BudgetMy Profile

  11. You are beautiful, and I thank you so much for posting that affirmation–I think this is something that we are all needing to hear now and then.
    As long as you’re healthy, I don’t think size matters.
    I am terribly overweight right now, and am trying to make steps to get more healthy.
    Nicole recently posted…My Epic Post :: What I’m working onMy Profile

  12. I agree that beauty comes form within! I was always thin when growing up, but had wide hips. Even though I weighed 110 at 5’5″ I wore a size 8. I would give anything to be that size again. Since my last child was born I have gained 50 lbs. No longer can I eat anything I want. Beauty can come in so many other ways though. Thank you for reminding me!

  13. I’m with you. I’m 5’1″ and about 130 ~ not thin but not overly over weight. But, I’m in the camp that can just look at food and gain weight :-/
    Maybe your friend is thin but just has really bad self esteem? I know that I’m probably more in her camp; to most people I look okay. But what I see in the mirror is so different.
    Megin recently posted…Brag About It | Link Party | No. 43 | VMG206My Profile

  14. I am about 80lbs overweight and my bloodwork as well as behaviour indicates that I deal with anorexia and belimia. I have never been an eater, right from the time i was a child i hated food yet here i am two babies later and 7 pregnancies and you add some medication onto that for post traumatic stress and calories dont count, exercise doesnt seem to either. Part of me is blessed to be the weight I am because I know that not everyone my size over eats, that there are people out there just like me, or worse. I am frustrated by my weight, but I am at least content in the fact that i know its a mixture of cirumstances and medications working against me. You know who you are and why, don’t let anyone elses opinion affect your self-worth
    Marisa Slusarcyk recently posted…How to Build a Strong Christian Home ebook Release!My Profile

  15. I am tall and worry about my extra 15 pounds I gained after my third child and still haven’t lost. I never thought about it being harder for a shorter person to lose weight (or carry the weight). Thanks for a new perspective and reminding us to be more sensitive.
    Faith Still recently posted…Chicken and DumplingsMy Profile

  16. It is true as you get older men really care less about what you look like and more how you act. For me personally I want to lose 10 lb. (baby weight) to let myself feel better, but my husband accepts me and doesn’t make any comments.

    1. I was updating some posts (fixing some links) and I didn’t think it would go through again LOL. So if you get a bunch of emails, I’m soo sorry!

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