Divorce and all the feels

Divorce is so…weird.  Especially when you’ve been married for over 20 years. And yes, I was the one who wanted the divorce. Honestly, I probably should have been divorced years ago but I did the whole “stay for the kids” thing. And then I’m also from a conservative area where divorce is looked down upon. Look, I got married when I was 21. Probably not the smartest idea I’d ever had. I was already a young mom (I had my oldest son at 18) and his father and I didn’t work out because we were just too young.

So when I met the man I eventually married, I decided I needed to settle down.  Then of course I had my daughter and then later on, my youngest son.  I wasn’t happy for a long time.  I don’t really think my ex was either.  I’m not going to get into any details because I refuse to bash him.  I’ll just say that both of us did some things that weren’t right. I was just the one with the courage to say “enough”.

But just because I wanted the divorce doesn’t mean I’m not hurting.  I miss my old life. I can’t say I really miss my ex though because though I’ll always have love for him because he’s the father to two of my kids, he is pretty much a stranger now.  He is dating someone else.  And I do feel easily replaced.  Like I didn’t mean anything to him.  I also feel like I don’t deserve to have those feelings.  Divorce is so difficult to navigate.

I’m spending my first holiday season in a new state in another house. It’s the first time ever that I’ve been on my own. I have no family here, except my son when he’s here. But I will say I feel like I belong here, more than I ever did in my home state.  I just put my Christmas tree up today and normally I’m a “week of Thanksgiving” decorating kinda person.  This year I’ve just felt “eh”.  I feel like the world is going on around me and I’m just here.  That’s it.  I’m hoping it gets easier.

I haven’t used this blog to journal and talk about my personal life in a long time. I’m hoping to use it to gain some insight and work through my feelings.  I’m also hoping that it helps other women out there going through this to know that they’re not alone.

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How To Stay In Touch With Home On The Road

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Photo by enodeer from Pixabay

In this day and age, there are so many things that are pulling us away from our homes that it can be easy to lose touch with the places we are most familiar with. Whether you’re on the road for work, setting off on your travels, or just find yourself moving around a lot, there are ways that you can stay connected to the world at home by just using your laptop or other digital devices. So, let’s take a look at some of the options available to you.

Video Chat

One of the hardest things about being away from home is missing your loved ones. Just a decade or two ago that desire to speak face to face with your partner, children, or friends could only be quenched by a phone call or a letter. These days your options appear limitless when it comes to interactive with anyone while looking in their eyes no matter where you both are.  

Video chat applications such as Skype and Facetime have both opened up the world of video-calls for all types of people, where once before it was seemingly reserved for business types. There are other applications from startups such as Tinychat that specialize in group chats so you and your family could gather for dinner no matter where you are in the world. The beauty of applications like these are the fact they are available across all devices so you could be in one part of the world with nothing but your laptop, while a family member takes you around the home on their smartphone.

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Photo by ribkhan from Pixabay

Your Post

Another difficulty if you find yourself on the road more often than not is keeping in touch with your mail, usually the delivery option of choice for bills, healthcare and other important documents. If you are concerned about not being able to access your mail for a long period of time, you might want to consider setting up a physical address. This will allow you to have all of your mail sent to a centralized hub where it will be securely scanned and uploaded to you for access when and where you want it. This innovative use of technology has removed the need for a permanent address for many businesses and can now be used for personal use as well. This is particularly useful for someone who is constantly on the road for work and doesn’t want to come home to piles of letters, especially if some of them are urgent.

Of course, a lot of correspondence is done via email these days and ensuring you have an account with one of the many providers out there is important as well.

Applications

We have touched upon the use of apps in the previous two sections, but they need an area all to themselves due to the wide range of available options out there for you. Depending on your needs there is likely to be an application out there for you that will help you keep in touch with your home life. For those of you looking for a way to stay in touch with someone special, there are apps like Couple that allow you to share phone calls, messages, drawings, pictures and a number of other things between just the two of you. Whereas if you’re someone with a big group of friends that are always on the move or a large family then you might prefer something like GroupMe which connects several people in a similar way to Couple. You can have up to 200 people in a single group meaning you shouldn’t ever lose touch with college friends, your siblings or any other makeup of group that you can think of.

Away From Home

So as you can see, being on the road and away from home doesn’t have to be the isolated scenarios they once were. Your options for keeping in touch with your loved ones are greater than they ever have been. We haven’t mentioned every single type of application that you can use to help you, but there are many more like WhatsApp for chatting and Tiny Beans for sharing private images of your little ones.

No matter where you are in the world there is a way to touch base nowadays thanks to technology. It really is one of the great benefits of living in the digital age.

 

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Vacation, drama, and a Job.

 

 

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I just realized I hadn’t written a personal post in awhile. So here goes.  I went on vacation to see my bestie back in July.  Then towards the end of July, my step daughter did something to warrant us to get into an argument with her and ask her to leave. We told her our granddaughter could stay but she couldn’t. Of course, she took my grand daughter with her and has refused to let us see her.  I’m upset about that, but I’ve been praying.  It’s really all I can do right now.

If you want to know the whole reason we asked her to leave, you can read about it here and here. I’ve tried all I can to help my stepdaughter, but she doesn’t want to change. I can’t have here here doing the things she does and have it affecting my kids. I just hate that she’s using her daughter against us. I’m really bummed about not being able to see her.

But other than that, things are ok around here. So I found a job but I enjoy it.I started going to my cousin’s house and caring for her precious 7 month old.  She’s super spoiled, but so cute.  I get to sit and hold an adorable baby all day and watch tv LOL.  I homeschool my kids, but my 15 yr old needs very little supervision and my 11 yr old likes to do his school work in the late afternoons. So it works for us.  Rhiannon decided she wanted to be on the dance competition team this year so this babysitting opportunity was perfect.

My oldest son works for a local drilling company and is gone during the week. He’s home some on the weekends, but he spends a lot of time with his girlfriend (who is just the sweetest girl). He still lives here. Or I guess I should say he still stores his things here and sleeps here.  He doesn’t really spend a whole lot of time with us when he’s off work.  However, I’m glad that he’s so independent.  He works hard and I’m super proud of him.

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One Sure Way to Get the Kids Out of the House a Bit!

It’s almost summer time (even though here in Mississippi, it already feels like summer!). And kids are going to want to play outside.  Sure, they can play in a pool, play tag, hide and seek but most kids love to play on swing sets.  More specifically those big cedar swingsets that have all of the bells and whistles.  I know they have a lot of those types of play sets at the park, but really, who wants to have to load all the kids up in the car to go to an over crowded park. I know it’s not my favorite thing to do.  It would be so much easier to just buy one for your yard.  It’s something that will definitely keep the kids out of your hair for awhile. I can’t imagine how long this would entertain kids. I mean I just had a run-of-the mill swingset and slide set when I was younger and I would stay out there for hours.  With one of those bigger sets, your kids could be out there from sun up to sun down. At the very least, you won’t be hearing kids saying “I’m bored” every few minutes.   Your kids could even invite over the neighbor kids. So you’d be helping out other parents too.

I would say it would definitely be a great investment and your kids will love you for it.   You may even be able to keep your house clean for longer than 5 minutes and that’s always a plus. Not to mention, it’s good for kids to get away from their video games every now and then. When I was a kid (hey, I’m not that old) video games really weren’t as big of a thing as they are now so we stayed outside during the summer. However, now kids need a reason to go outside. And what better reason than an awesome play set?

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